Martin Pease

The crash All my neighbors said it sounded like a clap of thunder, real close. Not to me, as I was sitting on my deck around 11pm enjoying a cigar and glass of Scotch. I could tell immediately- from the tire squealing to the bang to the sound of rolling, crunching metal- that someone had just had an accident, half a block away. I grabbed my flashlight and dashed up the street. My first thought was someone had hit a garbage can, since it was garbage day and plenty of bins were still out at the street. It was dark, I couldn't tell what had happened. My flashlight exposed a black shape, and I realized that it was a car, upside down, leaning against the streetlight. That is why it was so dark. All of the bodywork around the engine had blown apart. The man who lives in the house where the accident happened walked outside as I ran up; he was in shorts and a t-shirt. His wife had already called 911. There was debris everywhere in his yard- concrete, metal, glass. From the rear ...

Son #1 requested steak for his birthday dinner, so I picked up the best looking ribeye steaks from Costco and grilled them up. The results were fabulous, in my top 10 best home cooked steaks.

Butter cow Goat vacuuming  Tuckered out baby sleeping Piggies Assistant for science demonstration Best view of the Fair Butter tractor Annual corndog

And now, the First Annual Iowa State Fair Kickoff Parade Royalty Ranking! Runner-up: Governor Don Pfeiffer of the Iowa District Optimists Club 5. The State Center Rose Festival 2018 Rose Queen 4. The entire fleet of Soybean Princesses hauled in by the Soybean Growers Association 3 tractors pulling a gaggle of princesses. Seriously! 3. Miss Metro 2018 by the Miss Greater Des Moines association 2. Last Year's Princess Kay of the Milky Way by the Dairy Association 1. The Bacon Queen by B-Bop's Burgers Congratulations, Bacon Queen! Your dedication to bacon really won us over.

... With all these considerations, and armed with a good topological map, you should be able to find the perfect spot. Chapter 3 : Hiking In and Site Preparations Having covered basic preparations in Chapters 1, and choosing your site in Chapter 2, now we get to the fun stuff- hitting the trail and prepping your site. Most of your load will be securely fastened in your sled, but remember that you should always carry water, bug spray, bear spray (if in bear country), flashlight, and rain gear on your person. Firmly grasping the ropes of the sled, start your journey on the trail. To distribute the weight evenly between your arms, cross them over your chest, and lean slightly forward. You've got a lot to carry, but keep in mind, it'll be a breeze hiking back out. Take a deep breath of that fresh air- you've never felt so alive! After half a kilometer or so, throw the first of your distraction bags as far off the trail as you can. It doesn't matter which side you c...

The taco you regret least is the one you didn't eat last night.

I've been on a Classics kick lately. After working through the magnificent Landmark Julius Caesar , I read Emily Wilson's newest translation of the Odyssey (also highly recommended). My wonderful wife, always attentive to my bibliotic needs (not a real word, until now ) purchased me a copy of Sarah Ruden's translation of Apuleius' The Golden Ass . Since the latter is by far the dirtiest major work from this time period I've read, this is the one I will review! Every day (I say this for effect only), someone says to me, "Those old books are too daunting to me. I don't think I'd understand them. I know nothing about ancient Greece or Rome." To these people I always (again for effect) say, "You don't know what you're missing, but probably you don't care." Because we (not you and I, dear reader, but other people) are so glutted with young adult fiction and newspapers written for a 3rd grade reading level, that seriously enga...