Why My Wife Should Let Me Fly A Plane

Here are all the reasons my wife should allow me to get my private pilot license (PPL). I am writing this on my blog so that I can occasionally send her the link again, in hopes it will wear her down in this war of attrition.

To be fair, she really only has one objection: that I will be killed in a fiery crash. In truth, it could also be a watery crash, or a snowy crash, depending on the terrain. But in her mind, one crash is the same as all the others, which shows what she knows.

So take all these highly different kinds of crashes and put them on one side of the scale. Now let's fill up the other side with this list of all the wonderful things a PPL would bring into our lives.

  • More exciting family vacations! What's better than flying to small residential airports? All that taxiing!
  • No Shake Shack in our town- problem solved! Fly to a better town where there is one!
  • Planes are so expensive, I won't be able to afford another car for a long, long time! She's always after me about that. 
  • If the wing starts to break off, don't worry, I've brought FlexTape! 
  • Stupid birds, always laughing at me because I can't fly, I'll show you! I'll show you all!
  • Picture taking of Trump's Big Beautiful Barrier, from the air! Watch waves of human misery crash against the rocks of Fortress America! 
  • We can storm the domain of the gods and steal their lightning bolts, and turn the tables on those a-holes!
  • Santa's not the only one with access to people's chimneys any more!
  • Cold? Go someplace warm! Hot? Go someplace cold! Like the temperature? Fly in circles!
  • Listen to all that cash turning into noise and vibration!
  • The kids just love all the chores, music lessons and extra studying we make them do- they'll love the Morse code and ground control protocol practice!
  • Ebola can't survive at 15,000 feet!
  • When SHTF, we can grab our bug-out bags, drive to the airport, and wait patiently for the government employees to give us our takeoff clearances! #Prepper4Life
  • With the Instant Pot, I can cook an entire family dinner while cruising at altitude! 
  • What better way to show your support for the US Military than by squawking 7500 on the transponder and when the F-16s show up, salute them! 
  • Probably won't crash!
I think it's safe to say I've proven beyond argument that I should be able to get my PPL. Time to start picking out my call sign... 

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