Martin Pease

Behold! The Searzall® atop the mighty Bernzomatic™ TS8000! Atop a Coleman propane tank. One of those camping ones, right. Tremble before the face of Almighty Searification! He hears all, knows all, sears all! His anger must be satiated! Bring forth the victim. Lay him in the ceremonial skillet. We quake with fear and anticipation! The dread one shines his eldritch gaze on the offering. Offering accepted! Searzall's purifying fire cleanses the flesh of the victim, its pinkness being transformed into succulent, crispy brownness. The smell is intoxicating! The ritual is complete, and Searzall returns to his dreamless sleep. Now, brothers, we feast!

The first full-dress halftime show of the year happened on a perfect September evening. Warm but not too hot, clear skies. While the home team fell apart in the third quarter, even that did little to damper the spirits. The halftime show was only one part of the full performance they are working on this year, and I guess they cut it down due to time. They played well, but it was a little underwhelming seeing just part of the routine. My heart filled with pride to see my little boy, now so tall (and 15 years old!) executing a complicated maneuver while playing all the right notes. Son #2, as a member of a middle-school band, got join his big brother for the pregame show, along with other local Catholic middle-schoolers. Hundreds of kids, each wearing their school t-shirts, marched out under the setting sun with the big high school band and played three songs. Son #2, in part due to his shortness and in part because they put the flutes up front, was in the front line. The combined ...

I think I've mentioned this in passing before on this blog, and my friends and family have certainly heard me rant and rave about this. Survey culture is bad. The modern metric industry is driven largely by the business schools, who teach future executives that they can run any business- doesn't much matter what- so long as you have the data to make decisions. And so we are subjected to endless questions about how many stars you give any interaction with a customer service person, or how you liked the ordering process, or really anything the corporation feels it needs data about. All of this is to cover the lack of competent leadership. Data is not a substitute for wise leadership, skin in the game, personal responsibility, and clear understanding of the business itself. In theory, asking your customers for feedback is a good thing, for perhaps they don't like something you do but won't take the time to tell you. But the reality of most businesses is that this da...

The crash All my neighbors said it sounded like a clap of thunder, real close. Not to me, as I was sitting on my deck around 11pm enjoying a cigar and glass of Scotch. I could tell immediately- from the tire squealing to the bang to the sound of rolling, crunching metal- that someone had just had an accident, half a block away. I grabbed my flashlight and dashed up the street. My first thought was someone had hit a garbage can, since it was garbage day and plenty of bins were still out at the street. It was dark, I couldn't tell what had happened. My flashlight exposed a black shape, and I realized that it was a car, upside down, leaning against the streetlight. That is why it was so dark. All of the bodywork around the engine had blown apart. The man who lives in the house where the accident happened walked outside as I ran up; he was in shorts and a t-shirt. His wife had already called 911. There was debris everywhere in his yard- concrete, metal, glass. From the rear ...

Son #1 requested steak for his birthday dinner, so I picked up the best looking ribeye steaks from Costco and grilled them up. The results were fabulous, in my top 10 best home cooked steaks.

Butter cow Goat vacuuming  Tuckered out baby sleeping Piggies Assistant for science demonstration Best view of the Fair Butter tractor Annual corndog

And now, the First Annual Iowa State Fair Kickoff Parade Royalty Ranking! Runner-up: Governor Don Pfeiffer of the Iowa District Optimists Club 5. The State Center Rose Festival 2018 Rose Queen 4. The entire fleet of Soybean Princesses hauled in by the Soybean Growers Association 3 tractors pulling a gaggle of princesses. Seriously! 3. Miss Metro 2018 by the Miss Greater Des Moines association 2. Last Year's Princess Kay of the Milky Way by the Dairy Association 1. The Bacon Queen by B-Bop's Burgers Congratulations, Bacon Queen! Your dedication to bacon really won us over.