The Fat Man - A Story
Jim looked out his front door, and waddling down the street came a fat man. This man was uncommonly fat, by Jim's reckoning the fattest man he had ever seen in person, of course there were real fatties on television sometimes in those shows meant to entertain you with grotesqueries. Jim bent down to pick up the newspaper from the stoop, stood up and looked again at the man slowly shuffling his globular flesh along the sidewalk in front of Jim's house. What a whale, thought Jim. How is he even capable of motion?
The fat man was looking at Jim now, watching him. He came to a stop in front of Jim's house, rotated slightly, facing Jim now head-on. This unnerved Jim. The eyes of the fat man, so surrounded by the puffiness of his face, beetled into Jim.
"Good morning," the fat man said.
"Uh, good morning to you," Jim replied. The fat man looked with his little eyes right into his own.
"Is that today's paper?" asked the fat man.
"What? Oh yes yes," stuttered Jim.
"May I read that?" What a question! "Sure," stuttered Jim.
For a long moment the two stared at each other. "Will you bring it to me?" asked the fat man.
Jim was startled by this, still not quite believing this man would just ask him for his own newspaper. Jim stepped out of his doorway, leaving the door ajar, and walked up to the fat man. Up close, the man was even bigger, his body almost completely spherical. Jim held out the newspaper.
"Do you want the funnies?" the fat man asked.
Stupidly, Jim said, "Why?" What a dialogue!
"I don't read the funnies, as I have no interest in jokes," replied the fat man.
Opening up the newspaper, the fatso removed a section from the middle and handed it to Jim. Jim glanced down at it but nothing registered, his mind lost in the absurdity of this conversation.
The fat man refolded the newspaper and tucked it under one of his ham-like arms, but still he made no move to go. Another long pause.
"This weather, eh? No rain for weeks," stated the fat man.
"Dry as a bone," Jim answered him.
"A locust invasion would just be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it."
"A-a what?"
"Better get going. I'm hungry, and you know how little there will be to eat right soon. Thanks for the paper," the man said. Turning his corpulence the direction of the sidewalk again, he started shuffling away.
Jim lamely said, "So long," and watched him go, the funnies still in his hand before him, just as when the fat man handed them to him. Gradually, his bizarre visitor reached the end of the block, crossed, and was out of view.
Shaken from his reverie, Jim now looked at the paper in his hand, irksomeness finally creeping into his emotions. He had wanted to read that paper, and Jim didn't like the funnies, either.
As he started back to his front door, a darkness in the sky caught his notice, to the west. Rain, finally, thought Jim. But something was strange about these clouds. They seemed to stretch from the sky all the way to the ground. In fact, as they approached, the houses, trees and streets seemed to be swallowed up by their blackness. That's funny, Jim considered.
And then Jim was running down the street as fast as he could go.
The fat man was looking at Jim now, watching him. He came to a stop in front of Jim's house, rotated slightly, facing Jim now head-on. This unnerved Jim. The eyes of the fat man, so surrounded by the puffiness of his face, beetled into Jim.
"Good morning," the fat man said.
"Uh, good morning to you," Jim replied. The fat man looked with his little eyes right into his own.
"Is that today's paper?" asked the fat man.
"What? Oh yes yes," stuttered Jim.
"May I read that?" What a question! "Sure," stuttered Jim.
For a long moment the two stared at each other. "Will you bring it to me?" asked the fat man.
Jim was startled by this, still not quite believing this man would just ask him for his own newspaper. Jim stepped out of his doorway, leaving the door ajar, and walked up to the fat man. Up close, the man was even bigger, his body almost completely spherical. Jim held out the newspaper.
"Do you want the funnies?" the fat man asked.
Stupidly, Jim said, "Why?" What a dialogue!
"I don't read the funnies, as I have no interest in jokes," replied the fat man.
Opening up the newspaper, the fatso removed a section from the middle and handed it to Jim. Jim glanced down at it but nothing registered, his mind lost in the absurdity of this conversation.
The fat man refolded the newspaper and tucked it under one of his ham-like arms, but still he made no move to go. Another long pause.
"This weather, eh? No rain for weeks," stated the fat man.
"Dry as a bone," Jim answered him.
"A locust invasion would just be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it."
"A-a what?"
"Better get going. I'm hungry, and you know how little there will be to eat right soon. Thanks for the paper," the man said. Turning his corpulence the direction of the sidewalk again, he started shuffling away.
Jim lamely said, "So long," and watched him go, the funnies still in his hand before him, just as when the fat man handed them to him. Gradually, his bizarre visitor reached the end of the block, crossed, and was out of view.
Shaken from his reverie, Jim now looked at the paper in his hand, irksomeness finally creeping into his emotions. He had wanted to read that paper, and Jim didn't like the funnies, either.
As he started back to his front door, a darkness in the sky caught his notice, to the west. Rain, finally, thought Jim. But something was strange about these clouds. They seemed to stretch from the sky all the way to the ground. In fact, as they approached, the houses, trees and streets seemed to be swallowed up by their blackness. That's funny, Jim considered.
And then Jim was running down the street as fast as he could go.
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